Sunday 1 November 2015

That Little Devil Within

By Evan Sanders


I hear you little devil within.

Show yourself. Show yourself exactly as you are. I know you are there because when the light cuts out in the room you begin to attack my thoughts. You are relentless. You never give up. Your ambitions in ruining my deepest sense of purpose are severe. I suffer when I give in because you run around like a mad child in a room full of glass.

I'm no longer going to fight.

Does this confuse you? Does this make you weep at the thought of the grip you once had that exists no longer? You held onto me so strong and so tight due to my disability to see that the battle increased your strength. Like quicksand I sunk the more that I moved. But like I claimed before, I embrace the darkness now.

A lot has changed in my life.

I now understand that in darkness there can be light. I do not fear you showing up because I understand what I can do with you. I know that if I let you pass through my filter of joy that I can create something beautiful with all of the things you are trying to make me shake with. No, I will not fight you anymore. Instead, I'm going to embrace you warmly.

You did some serious damage to me in my old life. But now, I have taken control of who I am. I've taken control of how I'm going to respond to all of your ridiculous questioning, demands, and negativity. You owned me from time to time, but now it's time for me to show compassion towards you.

You had your run. You did your damage. I must admit, you did a great job doing it. Be proud of your accomplishments.

We are stating something new together. We are going to go in a completely different direction than before. You had your time with me and now it's my time to run you. How am I going to do this? Well how about you just find out? But it's not going to be even close to the ways from before.

So let's go for a walk. I would like to hear what you have to say.




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